i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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