I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
