yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize