I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
