So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
