I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I could fuck to npr.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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