Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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