I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
