He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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