im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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