just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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