no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
