i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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