This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Never underestimate the power of titties
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize