areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
