just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
