She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
