i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
