8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize