Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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