i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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