Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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