i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
