I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
