Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
ttyl tear gas
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
