i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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