I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
