yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize