So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry about my life...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize