he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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