your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize