i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
