it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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