There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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