Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
