and she was petting her beer can
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
