it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize