If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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