Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
