um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
