wanna go halves on a baby?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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