the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize