u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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