Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
