my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
