Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
