Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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