I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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