k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize