Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your mouth is God's brothel.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
