Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
