he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize