i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
