I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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