My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
