He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
