Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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