I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
