Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my being single is dangerous.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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