My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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