He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
