Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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