I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
