bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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