I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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