I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
