He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
